Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

You are strong

I’m not one for body love. My body just kind of…is what it is. Growing up, my mom was always focused on trying to keep pounds off, not embracing what she has, so it’s been programmed into me that “This is what I have, make it something it’s not,” instead of, “This is what I have, be proud of it.”

I will always have baby fat that I can’t get rid of. And I know I look better in person than in pictures. And I have dark circles and crooked teeth and my calves are huge.

But I was looking at a picture from the Pittsburgh Marathon yesterday and I have to say… I am insanely proud of what my little 5-foot-massive-calf-muscle body can accomplish. I ran 5k on Saturday and then 13.1 miles on Sunday (and not for the first time. This was my 5th Pittsburgh half and 6th half marathon overall). This is what that looks like…

Angelica Half Marathon

I don’t give enough credit to this body that carried me over the finish line in about 2 hours and 25 minutes. Sure, I’ve run faster and my body is kinda like, “WTF mate??” right now, but damn, I want to savor this accomplishment. And not brush off the fact that THIS IS F’ING INCREDIBLE.

I am proud of what I can accomplish. And I want you to be proud of what you can accomplish, too. It doesn’t matter if you run, lift, or just make a choice to eat an apple instead of Oreos (because really when faced with that choice, I will always pick Oreos.)

And it isn’t just fitness. You’re mentally strong. You go on day after day, trying to make each one better than the last. Probably with little praise, help, or time spent celebrating your wins.

I mean, I can’t be the only one who doesn’t savor the moment..

So this one’s for those who need to take the time to stop and think about what you can do. What your body, mind, and soul can do. We are fucking awesome. And we all deserve to sit back and say, “Hell yeah, I rock.”

You are strong, damnit. Don't forget that.

What have you done this past week that proves you’re strong?

No One Will be Perfect

I was reading an email from Marie Forleo talking about her website overhaul. She said,

We’ve hit more delays, stumbling blocks and snafus than any of us could have imagined. And while we’re experienced makers in our ever-changing digital world, this process affirmed a few very important principles every modern creator should remember.

And it just hit me. No One is an ideal candidate for a job. No one is 100% flawlessly, perfectly suited for the job. Marie said right there that everyone on her team is qualified and experienced and even they ran into issues. No one is absolutely perfect!

Everyone runs into unforeseen problems. Everyone makes mistakes. If you wait for the ideal candidate to come along, you miss out on the awesome hard worker who will bust his/her ass to do what they can to make you succeed.

Not everyone is an ideal candidate but don't let that stop you from doing your thing and working hard to make magic happen!

 

 

I’d rather work with that person that a robot. What about you?

Also, this bears repeating over and over:

…don’t make yourself crazy trying to get everything perfect. Not only is perfect just not possible, you’ll wind up tinkering away into eternity and never actually launching! Always focus on progress, not perfection.

Instead of worrying about making it perfect, just do the damn thing.

Dating in the Real Estate World

It’s no secret I’m on the hunt for a new place (when something is happening in my life, it’s all I talk about; I’m a broken record that way). And my goodness, if finding a new place to live isn’t like dating, then I don’t know what it is. It takes a special listing to get the girl and Pittsburgh, lots of you are doing it wrong.

Dating and real estate don't sound like they'd be similar, but you'd be surprised as the similarities between apartment hunting and dating profiles.

First, let’s talk about your picture. If you want me to click on your listing, you best have a least one picture that isn’t blurry and was taken in the last year. And it better be a real photo of you, not the same standard “model apartment” shots that your 10 other listings have.

Oh yeah, why do you feel the need to spam us with your other listings? Can’t you just say, “Call Stephanie and ask about our other availabilities”? It seems to me that it’s harder to write 10 different listings, but whatever. It’s like Tom Haverford and his 26 profiles, only distinguishable by middle initial.

Now how about that listing title. “Charming and quiet” tells me nothing. A much more appealing headline would be, “Charming 1 bedroom apartment in quiet neighborhood.” Much better. If I feel like you’ll satisfy what I’m looking for with just a quick snapshot of what you offer, I’m much more likely to click on your listing. Who knows, I may even schedule a showing. Crazy!

Once you get into the listing, then the fun really gets going.

If you type in all caps, I’m out. I don’t want a landlord who yells at me. Ditto Every Word Being Capitalized. If you can’t figure out the English language in a grammatically correct fashion, I don’t know if we have any chance at communicating on a meaningful level.

Now, I understand, you don’t want to give it all away up front, but a little info is nice. What’s included in the rent? Do I get a parking spot? How about pets? These are standard questions that would make this process go a lot more smoothly and help you weed out the unnecessary applicants. Why waste your time showing an apartment if the girl has a cat and your building is deathly allergic to felines of any kind?

And you better not be fibbing about your square footage. What a disappointment that can turn out to be.

How’s your luck when it comes to dating in the real estate world?

 

7/100 — #100DaysBlogging

Change

Every single cell in your body regenerates every seven years. You are constantly a new person, even if you don’t realize it. So if you say you never change, you’re lying. You are in a constant state of change.

“Every single cell in the human body replaces itself over a period of seven years. That means there's not even the smallest part of you now that was part of you seven years ago.” - Steven Hall. We are in a constant state of change.

Change is constant. How we experience change, that is up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it. It can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment we can be born all over again.

-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

3/100 — #100DaysBlogging

Vulnerability

People undervalue vulnerability. And part of that means they don’t authentically share what’s happening in their lives as it’s happening. They wait until something shiny comes along, slap on an Instagram filter, and present a polished version of what’s happening.

I’m not saying don’t share the great things that happen to you, I’m just asking why we can’t also appreciate the messy things. The stuff that gets swept under the rug because we don’t want to look like we don’t have it all together. Trust me, I do it, too. If you were to go in my head now, it would look something like these dogs:

and a little like this girl:

So, for Day 1 of #100DaysBlogging (thanks to Emily Levenson for the challenge), I’m sharing where I am, right now, in all of it’s authentic vulnerability.

One of my biggest insecurities is that I feel like I’m playing dress-up and just make believing that I’m an adult with a real job and real responsibilities and at any moment, someone will come along and say, “You’re not an adult yet! You don’t have x, y, and z, so you’re not really there, you don’t know what it’s like to be ‘an adult.'”

Then I get to thinking: That’s right! I rely on my stepfather to pay the Verizon bill. I’m not really a “real adult.” And while I’m at it..Why should someone care about what I’m writing? What difference does it make? What do I know about x, y, z? Who else knows that I’m really not strong and capable and just pretending to get it all together? What will happen when they find out I’m not as good as they thought I was?

My mind. It can run amok sometimes.

Call it imposter syndrome or playing pretend. Call it whatever you want.

But sometimes you have to roll around in what’s real for you in the moment and get really comfortable being messy for a while.

I have been protecting myself from those thoughts. But trying to shield yourself from getting hurt, from discomfort and awkward situations, dulls you to the outside world. Vulnerability is a crucial part of the creative process. Hell, to the living process. And that means getting really comfortable admitting that those voices are valid, but they aren’t driving the car.

So if we never allow ourselves the opportunity to be vulnerable, we never allow ourselves to experience everything on a scale from -10 to 10. We stay firmly in the -3 to 4 range. That’s a small window of opportunity.

It’s like Andy Warhol said, “I never fall apart because I never fall together.” And that guy knew something about experimentation and being open to new opportunities.

Embrace where you are right now. Share what’s real without the rosy Instagram filter making everything look flawless. Sit in the dirt and get comfortable with vulnerability. It’ll open some interesting doors if you let it.

I’m off to take a big dose of my own medicine.

How are you embracing vulnerability?

Embracing vulnerability as a creative person is absolutely imperative. Get comfortable being a little uncomfortable!

1/100 — #100DaysBlogging

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