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Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

July 18, 2016

Patience. Or: How to be Patient

July 18, 2016

“Angelica, patience is not our virtue,” is something I heard a lot when I was growing up. I was always told I’m not a patient person, so I believed that story: You aren’t patient. You have to work at being patient. It’s a mantra I got from my mom.

Trust me, there are tons of times when I see lack of patience showing through. Goals for me are big-time patience-killers. I want something right now when I decide to put my mind to it. Not that I don’t work hard for what I have or expect things to be handed to me. I expect immediate, visible change. Exercise is where it really shows up for me. I ran 5 miles today, why don’t I have awesome legs and killer abs??

Remember my body image issues?

So there’s something I’ve been wondering a lot recently. When does patience turn into passivity? At what point point do you just let people walk all over you at their own pace in the name of “patience”?

When does patience turn into passivity? At what point point do you just let people walk all over you at their own pace in the name of "patience"? The answer is boundaries!

I fancy myself the strong, silent type who doesn’t make waves but still speak up for herself when necessary. A quiet leader who doesn’t need fanfare. But in reality, I’m not living that image of myself. I let things happen to me, especially when I think that presenting a strong opposing stance (in my best interest) will change the other person’s perception of me as the “nice girl.”

Something I admire greatly about my best friend is that she decides what she wants and makes the decision for herself to get it, do it, be it. She will think about others, sure, but her ultimate decision is in the best interest for what she wants to accomplish in her life. She doesn’t wait for the right time, or let someone dictate the terms of her life. She’s another person who wants that immediate result, so she makes it happen.

It goes back to boundaries, like I wrote about last week. Boundaries are tricky but a solid indicator of what you will and won’t stand for. It’s your guiding light.

Man I love when shit ties together like this.

When do you think patience turns into passivity?

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Leave a Comment · Labels: Good Question Tagged: monday musings, motivation, patience

July 8, 2016

Would you change?

July 8, 2016

There’s this site that has 36 questions and it’ll apparently make you fall in love with anyone. I kept it bookmarked in my inbox because I knew some day, I would be stuck for a topic, but I didn’t read any of the questions yet. I went through them and stopped at 19 (though all of them are thought-provoking) this one hit me, hard:

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

I would laugh louder, dream bigger, adventure harder, relax faithfully, meditate purposefully…basically everything we are encouraged to do to live a full life right now.

It’s so easy to say, “Oh, I have my whole life to do that, it can wait.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “I have my whole life, I don’t want to screw up my relationships, finances, others’ opinions of me, etc,” so you don’t do anything at all and just use the insanity definition of “I won’t change anything but maybe the outcome will be different.”

The interesting thing about this question is the deadline. One year. That puts some immediacy on it. And forces you to look at what’s really important to you. Think about the things that you’d change if you only had a year. Those are the responses that are important to you.

Personally, I would speak my truth more, try to erase uncertainty in my choices, re-learn how to play guitar, make something big (like a quilt), meditate by a river preferably with a waterfall that I could jump off of, cultivate deep passion, travel around to meet you lovely lady readers of mine, take lots of pictures and actually print them out.

Some things are project goals that I can check  off, others are maintenance goals that have to be worked at each day.

What would you change if you only had a year? Interesting read about standing up for what you believe in and changing hard habits.

I know there would be some people that would run away and hide or who would make all the necessary preparations (which is much more likely what I’d do) so your friends and family are set up.

I’d really like to think that I’d be brave enough to find my voice and my feet and make some kind of impact, even if it’s something small. There’s 365 days to do something, anything.

So if you only had a year, would you change anything?

PS: need some ideas to get your change started? Molly Mahar has eight ways to improve your quality of life (super simple things) and I have a list of people I like to get inspiration from when I’m stuck here.

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Leave a Comment · Labels: Good Question Tagged: be brave, change, inspiration, motivation

Who’s Angelica?

Life Un-styled Blogger, Gardener, Shoe Lover..among other things

I'm here to encourage and empower you to grow where you're planted and embrace the weeds that sometimes pop up. I'll share inspiration, products I like (and you may too), and stories from the garden.

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