Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

No One Will be Perfect

I was reading an email from Marie Forleo talking about her website overhaul. She said,

We’ve hit more delays, stumbling blocks and snafus than any of us could have imagined. And while we’re experienced makers in our ever-changing digital world, this process affirmed a few very important principles every modern creator should remember.

And it just hit me. No One is an ideal candidate for a job. No one is 100% flawlessly, perfectly suited for the job. Marie said right there that everyone on her team is qualified and experienced and even they ran into issues. No one is absolutely perfect!

Everyone runs into unforeseen problems. Everyone makes mistakes. If you wait for the ideal candidate to come along, you miss out on the awesome hard worker who will bust his/her ass to do what they can to make you succeed.

Not everyone is an ideal candidate but don't let that stop you from doing your thing and working hard to make magic happen!

 

 

I’d rather work with that person that a robot. What about you?

Also, this bears repeating over and over:

…don’t make yourself crazy trying to get everything perfect. Not only is perfect just not possible, you’ll wind up tinkering away into eternity and never actually launching! Always focus on progress, not perfection.

Instead of worrying about making it perfect, just do the damn thing.

Vulnerability

People undervalue vulnerability. And part of that means they don’t authentically share what’s happening in their lives as it’s happening. They wait until something shiny comes along, slap on an Instagram filter, and present a polished version of what’s happening.

I’m not saying don’t share the great things that happen to you, I’m just asking why we can’t also appreciate the messy things. The stuff that gets swept under the rug because we don’t want to look like we don’t have it all together. Trust me, I do it, too. If you were to go in my head now, it would look something like these dogs:

and a little like this girl:

So, for Day 1 of #100DaysBlogging (thanks to Emily Levenson for the challenge), I’m sharing where I am, right now, in all of it’s authentic vulnerability.

One of my biggest insecurities is that I feel like I’m playing dress-up and just make believing that I’m an adult with a real job and real responsibilities and at any moment, someone will come along and say, “You’re not an adult yet! You don’t have x, y, and z, so you’re not really there, you don’t know what it’s like to be ‘an adult.'”

Then I get to thinking: That’s right! I rely on my stepfather to pay the Verizon bill. I’m not really a “real adult.” And while I’m at it..Why should someone care about what I’m writing? What difference does it make? What do I know about x, y, z? Who else knows that I’m really not strong and capable and just pretending to get it all together? What will happen when they find out I’m not as good as they thought I was?

My mind. It can run amok sometimes.

Call it imposter syndrome or playing pretend. Call it whatever you want.

But sometimes you have to roll around in what’s real for you in the moment and get really comfortable being messy for a while.

I have been protecting myself from those thoughts. But trying to shield yourself from getting hurt, from discomfort and awkward situations, dulls you to the outside world. Vulnerability is a crucial part of the creative process. Hell, to the living process. And that means getting really comfortable admitting that those voices are valid, but they aren’t driving the car.

So if we never allow ourselves the opportunity to be vulnerable, we never allow ourselves to experience everything on a scale from -10 to 10. We stay firmly in the -3 to 4 range. That’s a small window of opportunity.

It’s like Andy Warhol said, “I never fall apart because I never fall together.” And that guy knew something about experimentation and being open to new opportunities.

Embrace where you are right now. Share what’s real without the rosy Instagram filter making everything look flawless. Sit in the dirt and get comfortable with vulnerability. It’ll open some interesting doors if you let it.

I’m off to take a big dose of my own medicine.

How are you embracing vulnerability?

Embracing vulnerability as a creative person is absolutely imperative. Get comfortable being a little uncomfortable!

1/100 — #100DaysBlogging

Radiant

For the last three years, I’ve participated in Molly Mahar‘s Holiday Council. Part of the goal-setting work we do includes picking a word or theme to guide you.

Last year, I proudly adopted FOCUS. I wanted to concentrate really closely on a few things and do them really, really well. That lasted for about 2.5 weeks before I totally lost focus and started to go all willy-nilly with my plans and time.

But this year… This year will be different.

I chose RADIANT for my word. Everything I do will be measured against the ruler of, “Does this make me feel radiant?” I want to be so freakin’ unstoppable this year that I’m positively radiating awesome.

Or at least, I’ll try to.

All I know is that I want to glow, damnit. And like I said before, short of ingesting glitter, I’m going to be as radiant as possible.

My word for 2016 is RADIANT. What’s yours?

A photo posted by Angelica (@gardeninginhighheels) on

RADIANT just found me and I’m glad it did. I was going to pick STREAMLINE, but RADIANT is way more fun.

What’s your word for 2016?

Many thanks to Life with Lolo for writing about her word, Thrive, and inspiring this post!

Need some Dolce Vita? Practice Gratitude.

Today’s post comes from the fantastic Audrey Vanim. I had the luck to run into her at a Propelle acupuncture session a few weeks ago where we got to talking about blogging and the Dolce Vita Fall Reset challenge she was organizing. I’ve been shifting my mindset around the challenges in the fall reset and it’s been awesome, so I asked Audrey to share her best tips for infusing a little Dolce Vita into your life this season.

Ah, Thanksgiving—one of my favorite holidays to stuff my belly full of good food, spend time with friends and family, and relax into a tryptophan haze. But it’s also one of my favorite holidays because it’s a whole day devoted to giving thanks—the practice of gratitude.

You might be thinking, why is this girl so excited about practicing gratitude? The short answer would be because it relaxes my brain, energizes my body, and makes my life magical. The long answer starts with a story about Italy.

About 2 years ago, I went on a family trip to Italy during a time when I was really burned out in my life—I hated my job, was out of shape, had constant brain fog, was exhausted all the time, and felt completely stuck in my life.

So when I got to Italy, one of the first things I noticed was just how energetic, upbeat, and relaxed the Italians were. They were healthy, happy, and living a lifestyle that was exactly what I had been craving for myself. I wanted to know the secret to their dolce vita.

What I found was that a big part of la dolce vita is practicing gratitude.

The best way to bring some sweetness into your life is to start by giving thanks for what you have. Gratitude practice really works!

Practicing gratitude has become a bit of a fad in recent years—even Oprah’s doing it. But beyond the hooplah, gratitude practices have some really solid evidence (I am a nurse, after all) behind them for boosting your health and your energy by helping you refocus your mind and decrease stress.

Gratitude has been shown to be one of the most powerful ways to shift your mind from negativity to positivity—from stress and fear to relaxation and love. Studies show that women who use defeatist coping strategies—like restraint, denial, disengagement—have higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), more anxiety, depression, and higher levels of stress. Consistent gratitude practices have been shown to increase energy, decrease stress levels, decrease depression, and lead to healthier lifestyle choices like exercising more regularly and eating healthier foods.

The Italians already know how powerful gratitude is for creating a healthy and happy life. They have an amazing way of infusing gratitude into everyday life—they accentuate the positive in conversations, take pleasure in small things, and always find a reason to celebrate. No matter how tough life might be, they pause and say a heartfelt “grazie!” for even the smallest of joys—a glass of wine, a child’s smile, or dinner with a friend.

They live la dolce vita because they make an effort to recognize and accentuate how sweet life truly is.

So do yourself a favor this week and take some time to really give thanks. Here are some ways to make gratitude an easy and powerful practice for you too:

Frame your day with gratitude.

Keep a journal by your bed. When you wake up, take a deep breath and write down 3 things that you are grateful for. For each item, pause and really feel the gratitude. Take another deep breath and then start your day. Do the same thing just before you’re ready to go to bed. This is a great way to start your day off with energy and positivity and end your day feeling relaxed and joyful.

Take a gratitude break!

So many of us take a coffee or snack break at work to decrease stress. But what if we took a gratitude break? Set an alarm or reminder on your phone to go off several times per day. When you see this alarm, it’s time to pause and feel gratitude. Doing this throughout the day will keep your stress levels continuously low, your mind focused and positive, and your body a whole lot lighter.

Use gratitude as a tool to turn any situation around.

When you find yourself stuck, disappointed, unhappy, or stressed, take a moment to pause and find one thing either in that situation or in your life to be grateful for. It’s amazing how quickly this can help your brain switch from a stressed and negative mindset to one that sees positivity and opportunity. When you find something to appreciate in any situation, it redirects you to the positive and helps you to remove yourself from the anxiety.

I have to say that practicing gratitude is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever done in my life—it’s helped me to become more energized, positive, and joyful.

So this Thanksgiving, get a jump-start on creating your own dolce vita by practicing gratitude—it might just become your favorite part of the holiday, too.

How are you doing to bring Dolce Vita and gratitude into your life this week?

 

Audrey Vanim is a health coach that helps busy women create more energy so that they can make their mark on the world and create a fulfilling life—their very own dolce vita. Audrey is a registered nurse whose work combines the latest in nutritional science with the best of what the Italian lifestyle has to offer. Learn more about Audrey and her work at audreyvanim.com.

Proud times (plus a giveaway!)

Like I mentioned yesterday, it’s been one year since I purchased the domain GardeningInHighHeels.com.  It’s taken me a while to get this space going and a while for me to get where I want it to be, but I’m thrilled with it and how it’s turned out.

To say it’s one of the things I’m most proud about…well, I guess that would be accurate.  I don’t have a baby or a pet or some star-studded lifestyle, so I don’t feel bad saying that a blog is a big accomplishment.

It’s still a work in progress and I want to take it in different directions, but I’m pretty proud right now.

Last night, I was doing an exercise where I wrote down the things I loved about myself (step one in Molly Mahar’s The Joy Equation is to practice fierce self-love).

There are many things I’m proud of, like my get shit done attitude and my writing abilities.  I wrote a lot of good qualities about myself if I do say so myself, but not one of them included, “my adventurous spirit.”

Probably because I don’t think of myself as very adventurous.  I’m more of the stay grounded and work hard type.  In my mind, spur-of-the-moment and grounded are mutually exclusive.

Sure, I can be fun and adventurous, but in small doses.  Baby steps.  I would love to work up big, adventuresome muscles.  I guess it takes practice, just like anything else.

If you’re like me and need a little kick in the pants to be proud of the adventures you take in life, maybe this giveaway will help get you there.

And if you already are an adventurer, you’ll definitely want to check out this giveaway.

Some of your favorite bloggers and I are teaming up to give you the chance to win a $300 Delta Airlines gift card!  Talk about motivation to flex those muscles.  Enter using the Rafflecopter below and then fly by these fantastic bloggers to say thanks for this opportunity!

deltagiveaway

Brought to you by:

Life Could Be a Dream // A Prioritized Marriage // Life With Grace // A Beautiful Exchange
Hey Kerri // The Lady Lawyer // Gardening in High Heels // Boone & Owl
Aubrey Zaruba // Miss in the Midwest // Life in the Lost and Found Bin // Making Mrs. M
Becoming Adorrable // Wetherills Say I Do // T.O. & fro // Gold & Bloom
Two Places at Once // Twin Stripe

The giveaway will run from 12:00 am EST on June 17th until 11:59 pm EST on June 22nd.  The winner will be contacted by email and will have 48 hours to respond and claim their prize before a new winner will be selected.  Entries will be verified, so please be honest.  This giveaway is open to U.S. residents only.  Sorry, international friends!  Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Where would you jet off to if you won?  And what are you most proud of?

Be a Better Blogger is a weekly link up dedicated to helping you be a more intentional blogger. Want to be a better blogger but don’t know where to start? Head over to the Be a Better Blogger page for daily prompts and a weekly linkup to help get the creative juices flowing! Oh, and use #beabetterblogger on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook to keep the fun going even after you hit Publish!

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