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Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

February 13, 2015

Five things that need to stop

February 13, 2015

Man it feels like it’s been a long week.  I blame the standing desk that I’ve been using at work.  It’s exhausting to be on your feet for the better part of the day.  It also makes me so hungry.  I eat something good for breakfast like chia pudding and a glass of Instant Breakfast mixed with almond milk and I’m ravenous at 10a.

I get unusually snarky when I’m in a mood, so let me entertain you with my list of things that need to stop this week.

Five things that just need to stop this week

Ridiculous drivers

During my lunch break the other day, I had to drop off documents for taxes and I had to drive there.  On my way back, I witnessed so much bad driving in the space of 10 minutes.

I was sitting in the left-turn lane at the “Stop here” line.  Some jaggo in an Audi decided he didn’t want to wait in line (or he just changed his mind) and he used the right-turn lane to cut in front of me and turn left.  It wasn’t like I wasn’t paying attention or being jerk, I was stopped legally!

Then a bus decided that he didn’t want to wait for the light to turn green before proceeding across the intersection and just went for it when no cars were coming.

This is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves, so I’ve written about it before.

Nasty people

As an introvert, I can only handle so many interactions per day.  When someone is nasty, that depletes my stores of patience at a very rapid rate.  People who think they are the shiz or they are entitled to have everything their way..ugh.

There is no reason for me to help you if you’re mean to me, make snide comments, or assume you’re entitled.

Self-centered people

This is a special group of nasty people.  Much like drivers who are just menaces on the road, most of them assume wherever they are going is the most important and everyone else can wait behind them.

There’s nothing like the person who cut in front of me to make a left-hand turn.  Yes, sir, you are more important than me.  I’m glad you missed that day in kindergarten when we were taught to wait our turn.

Also, my name is Angelica, not Angela, Angelina, Ange-mumble-mumble.  Nothing smacks of being self-centered like calling me by the wrong name for our entire interaction.

Cold

Ugh.  I’m sure we’re all sick of hearing everyone complain about the cold, but really.  I’m fine with snow (because usually that means it’s about 32 degrees), but the negative 10 degree nonsense just needs to stop.

Talking about 50 Shades of Grey

Yep, I read the books.  I will fully admit that I got sucked in.  Everyone at work was reading it (and then we all jumped off a bridge together!) so I borrowed the first book from a co-worker and it was just a train-wreck.  I couldn’t stop!

But that doesn’t meant I want to sit through a 90 minute live-action version of it.  Call me crazy, but a watered-down-R-rated version of soccer mom porn just doesn’t sound like something I want to spend my money on.

What’s on your list of things that just need to stop?

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8 Comments · Labels: Five Things Tagged: five things, rants, sarcasm, say no, stop

January 23, 2015

Five things that need to stop in reality shows

January 23, 2015

I’m not a huge TV watcher.  When I come home from work, I’m either working on freelance, developing things for this blog, feeling guilty for not more frequently guest posting for PghCBN, or trying to give my eyes a break from screens.

Long story short, when I do actually watch TV, it’s usually some dumb zone-out reality show.  I know, they are total trash, but I really just want to not think about my job and responsibilities and get absorbed in someone else’s life for 45 minutes.

I fully buy in to competition reality shows.  I love seeing deserving people win $10,000 for putting together an edible meal made with pickled chicken parts, gummy worms, and some weird looking squash.  And then Vanderpump Rules because omg the drama.  And the clothes.  And the drama.

Five cliches that need to stop happening in reality shows

But I still love to make fun of this trash that advertisers support knowing that we’ll overlook some of these cliches.

Why are you crying?

If I were on a competition show, my nerves would be shot, too.  When I’m maxed out, I tend to break down and have myself a good cry.  But I prefer to do that alone.  Sometimes Jonathan sees it.

I don’t want someone who is judging me to see me cry, though.  If I can’t keep it together while I’m baking cupcakes or something, why would Gordon Ramsay trust me with his restaurant?  Maybe going on a competition reality show isn’t the most mentally sound decision someone should make this week.

Brad Pitt Crying

Via

We can tell he’s only dating you because you’re on TV, why can’t you?

So you’re sitting around, bummed that you can’t get a date.  You’re pretty, intelligent, and miraculously into sports.

“I know!” you exclaim.  “I’ll go on a reality show to find quality men and the prize will be a lifetime together with me!”

Oh sweetie, oh honey, no.  What is wrong with you that you need to go on a reality show to find the love of your life?  Haven’t you seen the tabloids?!  The last 10 of you already tried that and the guy either cheated or they got divorced.

Maybe that was a little harsh, but really.

Yes, we all are here to win.

The cliches of, “I’m here to win!” and, “I know I rocked that round” are just obnoxious filler.  Of course you’re here to win!  No one says, “I’m here to lose.  I’m just happy I made it here.”

You’re running around the world to win a million dollars.  Of course you’re not putting yourself through that without the end goal of winning a million dollars!

Matthew Broderick Give it to me

Via

Plus, the people who say, “I made the best dish in that round” are clearly jinxing themselves.

We know you got that job because you’re on TV.

I’m sure you’re a great writer and you’re qualified to write a makeup series simply because your bathroom looks like a new Sephora location.  But I know just as well as everyone else that the only reason why that blog will pay you to write is so you’ll talk about it on your cable TV show and drive traffic to their site.

Clever PR move.  Kudos!

The really drunk girl.

I understand you need to drink to cope, but why oh why are you letting yourself get this horrifically, embarrassingly drunk?  You are on national TV!

Not only are you glorifying black-out-drunk drinking, you’re making yourself look really stupid.  I’m sure your new blog contact is so thrilled that you’re representing them.

Robin Scherbatski under desk

Via

What reality show cliches would you add to this list?

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6 Comments · Labels: Five Things Tagged: five things, humor, reality show, reality tv

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Who’s Angelica?

Life Un-styled Blogger, Gardener, Shoe Lover..among other things

I'm here to encourage and empower you to grow where you're planted and embrace the weeds that sometimes pop up. I'll share inspiration, products I like (and you may too), and stories from the garden.

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