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Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

February 13, 2015

Five things that need to stop

February 13, 2015

Man it feels like it’s been a long week.  I blame the standing desk that I’ve been using at work.  It’s exhausting to be on your feet for the better part of the day.  It also makes me so hungry.  I eat something good for breakfast like chia pudding and a glass of Instant Breakfast mixed with almond milk and I’m ravenous at 10a.

I get unusually snarky when I’m in a mood, so let me entertain you with my list of things that need to stop this week.

Five things that just need to stop this week

Ridiculous drivers

During my lunch break the other day, I had to drop off documents for taxes and I had to drive there.  On my way back, I witnessed so much bad driving in the space of 10 minutes.

I was sitting in the left-turn lane at the “Stop here” line.  Some jaggo in an Audi decided he didn’t want to wait in line (or he just changed his mind) and he used the right-turn lane to cut in front of me and turn left.  It wasn’t like I wasn’t paying attention or being jerk, I was stopped legally!

Then a bus decided that he didn’t want to wait for the light to turn green before proceeding across the intersection and just went for it when no cars were coming.

This is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves, so I’ve written about it before.

Nasty people

As an introvert, I can only handle so many interactions per day.  When someone is nasty, that depletes my stores of patience at a very rapid rate.  People who think they are the shiz or they are entitled to have everything their way..ugh.

There is no reason for me to help you if you’re mean to me, make snide comments, or assume you’re entitled.

Self-centered people

This is a special group of nasty people.  Much like drivers who are just menaces on the road, most of them assume wherever they are going is the most important and everyone else can wait behind them.

There’s nothing like the person who cut in front of me to make a left-hand turn.  Yes, sir, you are more important than me.  I’m glad you missed that day in kindergarten when we were taught to wait our turn.

Also, my name is Angelica, not Angela, Angelina, Ange-mumble-mumble.  Nothing smacks of being self-centered like calling me by the wrong name for our entire interaction.

Cold

Ugh.  I’m sure we’re all sick of hearing everyone complain about the cold, but really.  I’m fine with snow (because usually that means it’s about 32 degrees), but the negative 10 degree nonsense just needs to stop.

Talking about 50 Shades of Grey

Yep, I read the books.  I will fully admit that I got sucked in.  Everyone at work was reading it (and then we all jumped off a bridge together!) so I borrowed the first book from a co-worker and it was just a train-wreck.  I couldn’t stop!

But that doesn’t meant I want to sit through a 90 minute live-action version of it.  Call me crazy, but a watered-down-R-rated version of soccer mom porn just doesn’t sound like something I want to spend my money on.

What’s on your list of things that just need to stop?

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8 Comments · Labels: Five Things Tagged: five things, rants, sarcasm, say no, stop

February 11, 2015

I am woman, hear me say no

February 11, 2015

I have a disease.  It’s called being a woman.  Now don’t get your tomatoes out just yet!  Hear me out.

I understand I’m painting in broad strokes, but it seems like many women have a hard time saying no.  There are shelves of books dedicated to telling us “We are enough,” and, “It’s okay to say no.”  There are blogs and articles and coaches telling us that it’s okay and actually good for us to limit ourselves.

Saying yes to things you don’t want to do robs you of the money, time, and energy that you would be using to do something worthwhile and meaningful to you, something you actually want to do that would make you feel better, more accomplished, or happier.

I don’t know about you, but I feel obligated to jump on every response, every email, every time someone calls on me the second they call on me.  It results in me being tired, burned out, resentful, and already feeling like I’m breaking my resolution of focus and connect just one month in to 2015.

Pair that obligation with having such a hard time accepting help.  I’m always so surprised when people want to help.  I don’t know if I have a chip on my shoulder about being “the responsible one” or “the one who does her job,” but it’s very difficult for me to let someone take control.

I think I see it as a sign of weakness.  We’re all so concerned about doing as much as possible that relinquishing control, in my mind, is admitting defeat.

Saying that I can’t do it all is saying I’m failing at doing something.  And I don’t fail.

I feel like that is amplified by being a woman.  I work all day, take care of the house, have a side hustle, blog, and am also supposed to have time to work out, eat, sleep, catch up on Scorpion… Impossible!

Because I am not an expert at saying no (it’s something I recognize a need for), I think I could use a little practice.

I’m issuing myself, and you, a challenge.  Say “no” to something today.  How!?  Well, take inspiration from this Levo article.

I love this line:

Saying yes to things you don’t want to do robs you of the money, time, and energy that you would be using to do something worthwhile and meaningful to you, something you actually want to do that would make you feel better, more accomplished, or happier.

So.  Spot.  On.

A few things that I would add:

Will saying yes help you work towards your goals or hurt you?

Really think through this.  Are you doing this because you think it might get you ahead or will it really help to further your goal/blog/career.  Are you doing this because you feel like it’ll make you look good or do you really want to do this?

Do you believe in what you are doing?

Like Michele mentioned in her Levo article, if you heart isn’t in it, don’t do it.  People can tell you’re faking and I’d venture to say you probably won’t enjoy it.

In the case of a product recommendation, if you don’t genuinely believe it, why are you talking about it?  Would you trust someone who wasn’t genuine?  Then why should your readers trust you if you’re not being honest.

And then focus on how you feel

Do you feel good saying no? I’m sure it’s scary, but do you feel freedom to explore other areas or are you just feeling guilty for turning down something?

I may not know a lot, but I do know that your gut will know what the right decision is.

Right, back to the challenge.  Do it today, then try it tomorrow, the next day.  Even if it’s just small things like, “No, I won’t make an extra trip to Target this week, I’ll pick up your (insert thing here) when I go back next week.”

Are you going to join me on my journey to say no?  No excuses, now!

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14 Comments · Labels: Motivation Tagged: motivation, positivity, resolutions, say no

Who’s Angelica?

Life Un-styled Blogger, Gardener, Shoe Lover..among other things

I'm here to encourage and empower you to grow where you're planted and embrace the weeds that sometimes pop up. I'll share inspiration, products I like (and you may too), and stories from the garden.

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