Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

Five things that need to stop

Man it feels like it’s been a long week.  I blame the standing desk that I’ve been using at work.  It’s exhausting to be on your feet for the better part of the day.  It also makes me so hungry.  I eat something good for breakfast like chia pudding and a glass of Instant Breakfast mixed with almond milk and I’m ravenous at 10a.

I get unusually snarky when I’m in a mood, so let me entertain you with my list of things that need to stop this week.

Five things that just need to stop this week

Ridiculous drivers

During my lunch break the other day, I had to drop off documents for taxes and I had to drive there.  On my way back, I witnessed so much bad driving in the space of 10 minutes.

I was sitting in the left-turn lane at the “Stop here” line.  Some jaggo in an Audi decided he didn’t want to wait in line (or he just changed his mind) and he used the right-turn lane to cut in front of me and turn left.  It wasn’t like I wasn’t paying attention or being jerk, I was stopped legally!

Then a bus decided that he didn’t want to wait for the light to turn green before proceeding across the intersection and just went for it when no cars were coming.

This is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves, so I’ve written about it before.

Nasty people

As an introvert, I can only handle so many interactions per day.  When someone is nasty, that depletes my stores of patience at a very rapid rate.  People who think they are the shiz or they are entitled to have everything their way..ugh.

There is no reason for me to help you if you’re mean to me, make snide comments, or assume you’re entitled.

Self-centered people

This is a special group of nasty people.  Much like drivers who are just menaces on the road, most of them assume wherever they are going is the most important and everyone else can wait behind them.

There’s nothing like the person who cut in front of me to make a left-hand turn.  Yes, sir, you are more important than me.  I’m glad you missed that day in kindergarten when we were taught to wait our turn.

Also, my name is Angelica, not Angela, Angelina, Ange-mumble-mumble.  Nothing smacks of being self-centered like calling me by the wrong name for our entire interaction.

Cold

Ugh.  I’m sure we’re all sick of hearing everyone complain about the cold, but really.  I’m fine with snow (because usually that means it’s about 32 degrees), but the negative 10 degree nonsense just needs to stop.

Talking about 50 Shades of Grey

Yep, I read the books.  I will fully admit that I got sucked in.  Everyone at work was reading it (and then we all jumped off a bridge together!) so I borrowed the first book from a co-worker and it was just a train-wreck.  I couldn’t stop!

But that doesn’t meant I want to sit through a 90 minute live-action version of it.  Call me crazy, but a watered-down-R-rated version of soccer mom porn just doesn’t sound like something I want to spend my money on.

What’s on your list of things that just need to stop?

I am woman, hear me say no

I have a disease.  It’s called being a woman.  Now don’t get your tomatoes out just yet!  Hear me out.

I understand I’m painting in broad strokes, but it seems like many women have a hard time saying no.  There are shelves of books dedicated to telling us “We are enough,” and, “It’s okay to say no.”  There are blogs and articles and coaches telling us that it’s okay and actually good for us to limit ourselves.

Saying yes to things you don’t want to do robs you of the money, time, and energy that you would be using to do something worthwhile and meaningful to you, something you actually want to do that would make you feel better, more accomplished, or happier.

I don’t know about you, but I feel obligated to jump on every response, every email, every time someone calls on me the second they call on me.  It results in me being tired, burned out, resentful, and already feeling like I’m breaking my resolution of focus and connect just one month in to 2015.

Pair that obligation with having such a hard time accepting help.  I’m always so surprised when people want to help.  I don’t know if I have a chip on my shoulder about being “the responsible one” or “the one who does her job,” but it’s very difficult for me to let someone take control.

I think I see it as a sign of weakness.  We’re all so concerned about doing as much as possible that relinquishing control, in my mind, is admitting defeat.

Saying that I can’t do it all is saying I’m failing at doing something.  And I don’t fail.

I feel like that is amplified by being a woman.  I work all day, take care of the house, have a side hustle, blog, and am also supposed to have time to work out, eat, sleep, catch up on Scorpion… Impossible!

Because I am not an expert at saying no (it’s something I recognize a need for), I think I could use a little practice.

I’m issuing myself, and you, a challenge.  Say “no” to something today.  How!?  Well, take inspiration from this Levo article.

I love this line:

Saying yes to things you don’t want to do robs you of the money, time, and energy that you would be using to do something worthwhile and meaningful to you, something you actually want to do that would make you feel better, more accomplished, or happier.

So.  Spot.  On.

A few things that I would add:

Will saying yes help you work towards your goals or hurt you?

Really think through this.  Are you doing this because you think it might get you ahead or will it really help to further your goal/blog/career.  Are you doing this because you feel like it’ll make you look good or do you really want to do this?

Do you believe in what you are doing?

Like Michele mentioned in her Levo article, if you heart isn’t in it, don’t do it.  People can tell you’re faking and I’d venture to say you probably won’t enjoy it.

In the case of a product recommendation, if you don’t genuinely believe it, why are you talking about it?  Would you trust someone who wasn’t genuine?  Then why should your readers trust you if you’re not being honest.

And then focus on how you feel

Do you feel good saying no? I’m sure it’s scary, but do you feel freedom to explore other areas or are you just feeling guilty for turning down something?

I may not know a lot, but I do know that your gut will know what the right decision is.

Right, back to the challenge.  Do it today, then try it tomorrow, the next day.  Even if it’s just small things like, “No, I won’t make an extra trip to Target this week, I’ll pick up your (insert thing here) when I go back next week.”

Are you going to join me on my journey to say no?  No excuses, now!

February Birchbox First Impressions

I have been getting Birchbox for 30 31 boxes now.  I’ve done a few box reviews, but I’ve never done a first impressions.  I go through a love-hate relationship with them (I love trying new products but I hate falling in love with them and having to buy them. Oh the struggle), but since I started the #365DaysOfEmpties project, I need to keep my stash of samples up.

February Birchbox Unboxing

February just came in and I am super-excited because I decided to pick a specialty box.  I like when Birchbox lets you pick a specialty box, like this one, or pick one of your samples.  The sample choices they offered for February were samples I already tried and wasn’t like, “Yes I need another one of these,” so I went with the Rent The Runway X Birchbox box.

Rent The Runway and Birchbox made a great box collab for February in 2015

derma e Anti Wringkle Vitamin A Glycolic Scrub

I usually don’t purchase scrubs (aside from Philosophy’s The Microdelivery Wash) because a) I have a big stock of that and b) I’ve been dedicated to my Clarisonic since high school and it gets the job done.

I do like to add in a good weekly exfoliation, though I’ve been partial to AHAs instead of physical scrubbers.  This says it sloughs off dull skin, fades dark spots, and cleans pores so it sounds like a great multitasking addition.

Fekkai Blowout Hair Refresher Dry Shampoo

Thanks to Birchbox, I haven’t paid for dry shampoo in about a year or year and a half.  I love other Fekkai products they’ve sent me and I can’t wait to try this one.

Did you know that for best oil-absorbing results, you should spray on dry shampoo at night and let it work while you sleep?  I can’t remember where I learned that (probably Birchbox) but it’s a great trick.  It really works!

Not Soap, Radio Body Wash in The Stuff That Cupid Dips His Arrows In

This smells so fantastic.  I opened it up and instantly reminded me of a Bath and Body Works spray I had once that I think was also blackberry and vanilla.

I’m not particular about my body wash, but I have been using Philosophy for a while.  It’s creamy and rich and smells great.  I hope this one is as good.  I probably won’t buy it though because it’s $16 and I stocked up on Black Friday when Philosophy was having a sale.  I also received fantastic products from The Williamsburg Inn Spa from my mom for Christmas so I’m good.

Sumita Color Contrast Eyeliner in Raina

I have no idea why this is called “Color Contrast.”  It would be cool if it was a duochrome finish.  But it’s just colored liner.  This is a pretty dark blue.  I couldn’t tell that Raina is blue until I went on the website.

Birchbox suggests to layer liners..maybe that’s where the name comes from?

I have had their liners from Birchbox before and have really liked them.  They have great staying power and the color is intense.  Maybe that has something to do with the name.

theBalm Read My Lips in Bam

This is such a gorgeous peachy petal pink.  I really like that it has antioxidants in it so it’s good for you yet it’s also pretty and glossy.

I can’t wait to see if this is sheer or if it’s as pigmented as theBalm and Birchbox claims.  They also say it’s non-sticky.  I really hope that’s true because there is nothing worse than putting on lip stuff in the morning, stepping outside, and having your hair drag lines of color across your face or attaching itself to your face thanks to the wind.

Do you subscribe to Birchbox?  I can’t wait to hear what you got!

[disclaim]The Birchbox link is a referral link.  I earn points if friends sign up.  I’ve stuck with them for 31 boxes, so clearly there’s good stuff here![/disclaim]

Sunday Lately, 6

It’s been another crazy week of hospitals and running around.  I feel like I’m perpetually never caught up and it’s a bit worse this week.  But Jonathan’s friends visited for the weekend and we had a great afternoon doing absolutely nothing of substance or planned.  And it was wonderful.

Sunday Lately 6

Planning

I’m trying to get a foot up on February (even though it’s already a quarter over!) and it feel like I’m falling further and further behind.  I’m doing just enough to stay on top, but I don’t feel like I’m along far enough.  I didn’t completely finish my Stratejoy worksheets for 2015 and I have to go back and look at what I wanted to do in February for some inspiration.

Loving

New shoes!  At Target yesterday, I spotted the sandals I couldn’t get my hands on last year.  They’re natural with a wedge and look suspiciously like a Michael Kors pair.  I have it in a heeled version and they’re the comfiest shoes I’ve ever owned.  Seriously, I could go all day in those shoes and not feel tired or sore.

Reading

Nothing right now.  Ugh!  But I was selected to read and review Hausfrau by Jill Alexander Essbaum so I’ll be working on that soon.  I’m not going to lie, all the talk about 50 Shades kind of makes me want to go back and read them, but I think once is enough.  And I already sold them to a second-hand bookstore and there’s now way I’m paying for them again.

Wishing

For the cold and the snow to be over.  I don’t mind snow, but the below-freezing temperatures get a little….tiring.  What’s it like in your area?

It’s this time of year that I can’t wait to wear all the cute spring things that I see advertised and I know I can’t wear them until May, I’ll get about a 2 weeks of cute, and then it’ll just be humid for 3 solid months.

Feeling

Right now, pretty damn content actually.  I have some coffee, I’m writing, and I’m re-watching 30 Rock on Netflix.  I feel like every time I do a list of “what’s up right now,” I reference Netflix.  I’m also feeling hungry because I’m waiting for brunch.  My world revolves around food.  I need to start taking better care of my body.  But I will thoroughly appreciate my metabolism and ability to eat huge burgers, tons of fries, good beer, pasta, and only about a salad a week and still feel pretty good for as long as I can.

So what was your highlight of the week?

Five Valentine’s Day date ideas (And 5 in Pittsburgh!)

There’s nothing like the excitement of a mystery date, especially on Valentine’s Day.  But, there’s also nothing like having no clue what you’re going to do on Valentine’s Day

In the interest of love this week, let’s talk date ideas.  Jonathan does a great job of finding fun things to do and I’m told he already has something brewing for this year (darling, just tell me to wear).  In case you aren’t so lucky and are scrambling for something to do for the big day, these ideas should translate to almost anywhere.

Five date ideas for Valentine's Day (or anytime!)

If you’re in Pittsburgh, then you’re extra lucky because I have specific events happening in the ‘Burgh on or around Valentine’s Day!

Have a Fancy-pants Dinner

I never get to dress up anymore.  I’m thrilled to be able to wear jeans and Converse sneakers to work if I want to, but I do miss getting a little more dressy.  Dressing up is pretty much now reserved for weddings.

Take a look and see if your favorite restaurant is having a formal dinner and get get on those reservations, like, yesterday.

In Pittsburgh…

There are tons of special dinners, but this one at uber-popular Brew Gentlemen will be out of tickets fast.

Day Drink

As my drinking partner in crime for my guest posts over at PCBN, we have shared many, many beers together.  Since Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, why not take advantage of that and do a little day drinking?  Wineries are great for this, but some of my favorite Saturdays together with Jonathan have been at breweries.

You get to learn something (how beer is made) and taste it.  Then bring home growlers/bottles of your favorites.  Bonus: breweries have their beer on tap.  You couldn’t get fresher beer if you jumped into the barrel.

In Pittsburgh…

There are tons of breweries and wineries sprinkled around.  And we’ve had great times at every one we’ve visited.

I also love stopping by Wigle Whiskey.  Their tour tickets are sold out for Valentine’s Day, but you can still taste.  There’s also a Cupid’s Cocktail Class on Friday, February 13th!

Get Creative

This is probably my favorite, next to day drinking (I’m young and have a disposable income, sue me!)  Jonathan and I have done some great creative things together and I love it because you have the memory of the time together, but then you also something to take home with you as a memento.

We’ve made glass tiles, painted (okay, it was a room in my house and technically not a date, but it was still creative!), and hopefully will continue to get creative.  There is no judgement from either of us so it really helps to foster the romantical connection.

In Pittsburgh…

Make flowers for your valentine at Pittsburgh Glass Center or get hands-on at TechShop and etch a wine glass (and then drink wine out of it with a wine/chocolate pairing!) or make plasma-cut flowers.

Do Something Nerdy

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a huge nerd.  And I love museums.  There’s a thing in Pittsburgh every fall called RADical Days where museums (and the Pittsburgh Zoo and the National Aviary and….) offer free admission on select days.  Yes, we have gone to five museums in a day because free admission!

Take a look in your city for half off admission nights, deals, or community-sponsored admission programs.

In Pittsburgh…

The Warhol Museum is my favorite.  Every Friday night, they do Good Fridays and offer half off admission and late hours (5-10p).

Fun fact: my grammy rode the bus with Andy Warhol when he was still Andrew Warhola.

Go for Adults Only

Come on, not like that!  A 21+ night is a great way to explore somewhere that you only know from a kid’s perspective (or maybe you avoid a certain places because of all of the children running around.)

I love the 21+ nights at the Carnegie Science Center and we’ve also gone to Phipps when they’ve had one of their nights as well.  It’s definitely a cool vibe and things look totally different in the dark.  There are Chihuly pieces all over Phipps but I never noticed them as much as I did at night!

In Pittsburgh…

Have some adult beverages and then enjoy a late night skate.

The Carnegie Science Center, Phipps Conservatory, The Children’s Museum, and I think the National Aviary have 21+ nights.  Explore the museum, look at the plants, make something and do it all while enjoyed a cocktail.

Bonus: Find Live Entertainment

Support your local cultural society.  A concert, musical, play, mystery dinner…always great date ideas.  Pittsburgh Winery also lets you taste their full flight of wine and they have live music on the weekends, so you can get a two-fer here!

If you’re still looking for something to do, check out your local event pages.  Shout out to Yelp for having a great events board.  Yes, I was an intern for Yelp in Pittsburgh.  Yes, I stocked up our event board every week.  Yes, you should check out Yelp for your local city.  </PSA on Yelp>

What are you doing on Valentine’s Day?  Do you have a date or are you celebrating Galentine’s Day?

Let’s Play

           

People Really Dug These

We Belong in the Garden Together