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Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

February 22, 2016

Dating in the Real Estate World

February 22, 2016

It’s no secret I’m on the hunt for a new place (when something is happening in my life, it’s all I talk about; I’m a broken record that way). And my goodness, if finding a new place to live isn’t like dating, then I don’t know what it is. It takes a special listing to get the girl and Pittsburgh, lots of you are doing it wrong.

Dating and real estate don't sound like they'd be similar, but you'd be surprised as the similarities between apartment hunting and dating profiles.

First, let’s talk about your picture. If you want me to click on your listing, you best have a least one picture that isn’t blurry and was taken in the last year. And it better be a real photo of you, not the same standard “model apartment” shots that your 10 other listings have.

Oh yeah, why do you feel the need to spam us with your other listings? Can’t you just say, “Call Stephanie and ask about our other availabilities”? It seems to me that it’s harder to write 10 different listings, but whatever. It’s like Tom Haverford and his 26 profiles, only distinguishable by middle initial.

Now how about that listing title. “Charming and quiet” tells me nothing. A much more appealing headline would be, “Charming 1 bedroom apartment in quiet neighborhood.” Much better. If I feel like you’ll satisfy what I’m looking for with just a quick snapshot of what you offer, I’m much more likely to click on your listing. Who knows, I may even schedule a showing. Crazy!

Once you get into the listing, then the fun really gets going.

If you type in all caps, I’m out. I don’t want a landlord who yells at me. Ditto Every Word Being Capitalized. If you can’t figure out the English language in a grammatically correct fashion, I don’t know if we have any chance at communicating on a meaningful level.

Now, I understand, you don’t want to give it all away up front, but a little info is nice. What’s included in the rent? Do I get a parking spot? How about pets? These are standard questions that would make this process go a lot more smoothly and help you weed out the unnecessary applicants. Why waste your time showing an apartment if the girl has a cat and your building is deathly allergic to felines of any kind?

And you better not be fibbing about your square footage. What a disappointment that can turn out to be.

How’s your luck when it comes to dating in the real estate world?

 

7/100 — #100DaysBlogging

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4 Comments · Labels: Just a Thought Tagged: #100DaysBlogging, apartment hunting, dating, humor, sarcasm

January 13, 2016

Snow Daze

January 13, 2016

This is the first #HashtagHumpday that I’m doing for the year and I have some thing at I just have to get off my chest. Buckle up.

Via ReactionGIFs

Via ReactionGIFs

I will judge you when you put apostrophes where they don’t belong. Seriously, it isn’t that hard to figure out if you need to make a word plural, possessive, or a contraction. Kegs / Keg’s have two totally different meanings. #TheyreThereTheir #FifthGradeWasYearsAgoPeople

Hey, Pittsburgh drivers, last time I checked, there’s a law that states you must clear off all snow and ice from your vehicle. I’m already sick of being stuck behind a stream of snow flying off your roof and we’ve only had legitimate snowfall for one day. If you can’t reach your roof, get a smaller car. #ClearlyYoureOvercompensatingForSomething #YoureNotFoolingAnyone

While we’re on the subject of driving in the snow… It is absolutely 100% necessary to use caution when driving in the snow. It is not necessary, though, to drive 20 MPH in the fast lane when there is no one in front of you for miles and the roads have been cleared. If everyone else can keep up with a moderate speed, you can, too. #YourCarIsntSpecial #IPromseYouCanDriveFaster #IJustWannaGetHome

Is there anything more disappointing than thinking about dinner all day long only to realize that you don’t have a key ingredient? I was so focused on making some yummy guac or avocado toast or something with an avocado the other day and when I got home, I realized it had gone bad already. #TheWorst #WhyAvocadoWhyyyy

Hashtaghumpdaysm_zpsc121607aI’m linking up today with Life with Lolo and Genuinely Lauren for #HashtagHumpday!

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8 Comments · Labels: Life, Right Now Tagged: complaints, hashtag humpday, hashtags, link up, sarcasm

September 18, 2015

5 stages of putting together IKEA furniture

September 18, 2015

I have spent the better part of the summer putting together IKEA furniture and the process is the same no matter what. It’s long and painful and never really gets any easier the more you do it.  It’s almost like the Five Stages of Grief, but with more crying and throwing things.

Putting together IKEA furniture sucks! Five stages everyone goes through when they're putting together IKEA furniture | Gardening In High Heels

Excitement

Yeah, alright, I have new furniture! I’ll refresh my look and it’ll be so affordable. I may even do one of those Apartment Therapy IKEA hacks. And I got this fun organizer, and these plates, and a funky Euro print, too, and it was all in one place. One-stop home furnishings shopping. I love this place and I’m never leaving. I’m so urban and hip, I can’t stand myself.

Disbelief

Wait a minute, that cost how much?? But I just got some dog-butt hooks and a night stand! Also how do these Swedish people transport this stuff? Are they ridiculously strong and carry it home on their backs? Because this defintely isn’t fitting in my car and aren’t European cars even smaller?

Frustration

Why do I have 50 little screws and only 10 holes? Do I have to make my own? Am I being punked? This can’t be right, can it??

And what’s this diagram showing me? Not to climb on the bookshelf? No kidding! How about I also don’t take my new desk lamp into the bath with me.

I give up. I’m going to lay here like Sadness until Joy drags my away by my foot because I am done and this is stupid and I’m stupid because I can’t figure out why this little line drawing looks so happy and I just want to jump into a bath with my desk lamp plugged in.

Acceptance

Fine. I’ll keep building because it’s better than figuring out how to get it back to the store half-built. Also, I don’t want to go to the 7th circle of hell ever again. So I’ll just stay right here. Pouting.

Begrudging Relief

It is done. Someone get me a coffee the size of my head and follow it up with a stiff drink. I need to forget that experience ever happened. I am never doing that again. Oooh mail’s here, look at the new catalog! I want this..and this..

—

I swear, if you want to get married to someone, put together IKEA furniture first. If you successfully build it will all the parts and don’t want to rip each others’ head off, congrats. You should get married. You could also probably raise kids together as well or at least care for a very large dog.

I think I’m going to lay off the IKEA furniture for a while.

What’s your IKEA experience been like recently? Any fun stories?

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8 Comments · Labels: Five Things Tagged: five things, furniture, home, humor, ikea, sarcasm

April 8, 2015

What no one tells you about running

April 8, 2015

Running sucks. #SeriouslyThough

I could probably stop there.  I started to write this in my head in the middle of a run on Tuesday and that’s how I was feeling.

#BlogPostsAlwaysComeToMeWhenIDontHavePaper

What no one tells you about running. #training #marathon #running

In case you missed all my bitching about hospitals and moving, it’s been a little tricky to find time to train for the marathon (that’s just the Pittsburgh Marathon Half, I’m not going crazy here).  I’m getting off my ass and doing it, though. #Finally

Now, I’m not a physical therapist, nurse, pro athlete, coach, or licensed to give advice, so don’t take this as be-all end-all medical knowledge.  It’s just what I know.  And this will be my 5th total half marathon, so I kinda know what I’m talking about in terms of myself and my body.

What I know about running is that it’s hard.  No one tells you how hard it is to get up and get moving.  An object a rest, #amirite?  There are some days when I just feel like I had the best workout ever and there are some days when it’s struggle city and I just want to turn around and go home. #ButSeriously #CanIJustGoHomeNow

Despite the suckiness and the burning shins and the sore lungs, ya just do it.

I think the biggest thing that no one tells you about running is that it really makes you listen to your body.  When it isn’t feeling it, honor what it’s saying.  Hit your mile goal for the day, but be gentle on yourself. #DoWhatYouCanWithWhatYouHave

I used to get so upset if I couldn’t stand running more than three miles when I was trying to train.  Now I just go with it.  On Sunday, I ran for an hour and I hit six miles.  It felt great.  Tuesday during my lunch break, I only did three. #YeahIKnowONLYThree #sarcasm

Instead of beating myself up about only running three miles, I made a deal with myself.  I ran to the next stop sign and I said I could walk if I wanted to.  I didn’t feel like I needed it, so I ran to the next stop sign.  And repeat.

Running is also a very mentally challenging sport.  Running 13.3 miles is a physical challenge for sure, but you have to believe you can do it.  The phrase “mind over matter” is so incredibly true.  I can’t emphasize it enough.  You have to be really assured that you can do it, even if you’re doubting it.  #DontLetYourselfSmellYourOwnFear

And you’re with yourself for 13.3 miles.  That’s a little longer than two hours.  If you’re telling yourself, “OMG I’M GOING TO DIE,” chances are, you aren’t doing very well.  Don’t listen to those crazy voices in your head! #LifeAdvice

When I started running, I wish I would have known that it was okay to have off days (#AsLongAsYouGetOutsideYoureAhead) and that it’s really hard to do when your mind isn’t working with your body.

Another thing no one tells you about running is that you’ll probably lose a toe nail or two and you really need to have a bee-line to a restroom when you’re done.   But more on that later.

Are you a runner? What’s something no one told you that you wish you knew?

#Hashtaghumpday @ Life with Lolo

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18 Comments · Labels: Just a Thought, Pittsburgh Tagged: hashtag humpday, hashtags, humor, link up, pittsburgh, running, sarcasm, training

February 13, 2015

Five things that need to stop

February 13, 2015

Man it feels like it’s been a long week.  I blame the standing desk that I’ve been using at work.  It’s exhausting to be on your feet for the better part of the day.  It also makes me so hungry.  I eat something good for breakfast like chia pudding and a glass of Instant Breakfast mixed with almond milk and I’m ravenous at 10a.

I get unusually snarky when I’m in a mood, so let me entertain you with my list of things that need to stop this week.

Five things that just need to stop this week

Ridiculous drivers

During my lunch break the other day, I had to drop off documents for taxes and I had to drive there.  On my way back, I witnessed so much bad driving in the space of 10 minutes.

I was sitting in the left-turn lane at the “Stop here” line.  Some jaggo in an Audi decided he didn’t want to wait in line (or he just changed his mind) and he used the right-turn lane to cut in front of me and turn left.  It wasn’t like I wasn’t paying attention or being jerk, I was stopped legally!

Then a bus decided that he didn’t want to wait for the light to turn green before proceeding across the intersection and just went for it when no cars were coming.

This is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves, so I’ve written about it before.

Nasty people

As an introvert, I can only handle so many interactions per day.  When someone is nasty, that depletes my stores of patience at a very rapid rate.  People who think they are the shiz or they are entitled to have everything their way..ugh.

There is no reason for me to help you if you’re mean to me, make snide comments, or assume you’re entitled.

Self-centered people

This is a special group of nasty people.  Much like drivers who are just menaces on the road, most of them assume wherever they are going is the most important and everyone else can wait behind them.

There’s nothing like the person who cut in front of me to make a left-hand turn.  Yes, sir, you are more important than me.  I’m glad you missed that day in kindergarten when we were taught to wait our turn.

Also, my name is Angelica, not Angela, Angelina, Ange-mumble-mumble.  Nothing smacks of being self-centered like calling me by the wrong name for our entire interaction.

Cold

Ugh.  I’m sure we’re all sick of hearing everyone complain about the cold, but really.  I’m fine with snow (because usually that means it’s about 32 degrees), but the negative 10 degree nonsense just needs to stop.

Talking about 50 Shades of Grey

Yep, I read the books.  I will fully admit that I got sucked in.  Everyone at work was reading it (and then we all jumped off a bridge together!) so I borrowed the first book from a co-worker and it was just a train-wreck.  I couldn’t stop!

But that doesn’t meant I want to sit through a 90 minute live-action version of it.  Call me crazy, but a watered-down-R-rated version of soccer mom porn just doesn’t sound like something I want to spend my money on.

What’s on your list of things that just need to stop?

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8 Comments · Labels: Five Things Tagged: five things, rants, sarcasm, say no, stop

Who’s Angelica?

Life Un-styled Blogger, Gardener, Shoe Lover..among other things

I'm here to encourage and empower you to grow where you're planted and embrace the weeds that sometimes pop up. I'll share inspiration, products I like (and you may too), and stories from the garden.

Gardening In High Heels is for badass babes who aren’t afraid to get a little messy. Want to learn more? Start here.
           

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