Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

The struggle is real

I try not to write about work too much here because I don’t want to put something on the internet that I may regret or not want to have it reflect the company I work for in a negative way.  But today’s Blogger, May I theme is hashtag everything, so I figured this is a fun way of talking about it.  Take it with much salt.

Not that I’m absolutely hating life and not wishing to work there anymore, that’s not what I’m saying at all. #ItIsntLikeACertainRestaurantIWorkedFor

I’m starting to realize that I don’t fit in with my coworkers.  I’ve always been a head-down kind of person.  I work until the job is done.  So while everyone is standing around having fun and talking, I’m in my cube staring at my computer. #MyEyesWillHateMeSomeDay

I’ll stand around and BS with them, sure, but I don’t feel like I’m 100% included in their group.  I’m wondering if I’ve separated myself from them and if I could ever be truly a part of their group. #IveNeverFitIn #BlackSheepWalking

It’s also becoming crystal clear now more than ever that I’m not a customer service person.  I like coaching people on how to best use social media to their advantage.  That part is awesome. #MyRetailersAreAwesome

But I don’t like repeating myself, especially when it’s simple questions over and over. #ThisIsTheSongThatNeverEnds

#IHaveNOPatience and it really tries my patience.

I’d rather work with a handful of customers and do it well than a lot of customers and do it so-so.  Y’know?

Like I said last Sunday Lately, it clicked with me why I have no patience for people who won’t just click the damn button on their own.  #JustTryItAlready!

You don’t need permission to always make the right decision.  Just make a decision.  And try doing something for yourself first. #SeriouslyThoughJustTryItAlready

So I’ve been trying to figure out ways to satisfy my desire to work hard yet be part of the group, to have a select group of clients rather than support a large base of them. #TheStruggleIsReal

Have you ever been caught in this situation?  What did you do?


I’m also linking up with Life With Lolo / Genuinely Lauren for Hashtag Humpday!

Stop Shoulding, Part 2

Today’s Blogger, May I prompt is this time last year.  Perfect timing to bring up about a year ago when I went to TEDxGrandviewAve (now TEDxPittsburgh!) and heard Britt Reints talk about “shoulding on yourself” and wrote a long, gushing post about how awesome she is and how right she is about that.  If you remember, that’s awesome and I love you and you’re my people.  If you don’t, catch up here.

Okay, back with me?

I’m getting very tired of people telling me what I should do.  I want to yell at them and say, “You don’t get to tell me what I ‘should’ do because you don’t know my situation.”

By telling someone, “You should totally [fill in the blank],” you’re imposing your goals and values on someone else.  You have no idea what you’re talking about.

You know that quote, “Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about,” or some variation thereof?  Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m referencing here.

Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a battle which you know nothing about. #quotes

I was thinking the other day that I will fundamentally not understand so many things.  I will never know what it’s like to be someone’s sister, to grow up in Texas, to be out on the street, to grow up without a dad.

So I have no right telling someone, “This is what you should do.”  I can offer advice, encouragement, and support, but not impose my beliefs on them.  Because my life that I bring to the table doesn’t at all reflect your life.  Sure, it can be similar, but we all have great experiences that are unique to us.

As such, I’ve been watching what I’m saying lately and trying to replace “should” with other words.  I was talking to Jonathan about work woes and I expressly said, “I’m not saying this is what you ‘should’ do, this is just what I’m thinking is a possible option.”

I love helping people and hearing them out, but I can’t tell them what to do anymore than they can tell me what I should do.

So what do you think?


 Need the prompts for the Blogger, May I challenge?  Gotcha covered.  Want to use your own prompts?  No problem!  Just grab a button to show that you’re linking up with myself, Katy, and Meghan.  Oh, and use #BloggerMayI on Twitter/Instagram to keep the fun going even after you hit Publish!

Half marathon prep

As I mentioned last week, I’m running in my fifth half marathon on May 3rd.  It’s definitely an intimidating undertaking, especially if you have no idea what you’re doing.  The first half marathon I ran was in Williamsport, PA, and it was a benefit for ovarian cancer.  I prepared as best as I knew how, aka: I ran a lot.

And then race day came.  Now, I don’t know if many of you have visited Williamsport or any area in PA, but it’s all basically just one big hill.  I was feeling great going down, but the back half was all up.  And it sucked.  I walked most of the back end because I couldn’t run up a hill for 6 miles straight.

The first time I did the Pittsburgh Half Marathon, I took my aunt’s bib because she hurt herself in training.  It was in February and the race was in May.  I again did the best I could, but it was still hard because I didn’t know what I was stepping in to and vastly different than in Williamsport.  It almost felt like my first half marathon again.

Five things I wish I knew before I ran in my first half marathon. #gameonPGH #running

So, in my best effort to impart the wisdom I wish I had known, I give you five things I wish I would have known before I ran my first half marathon.

1. Your toe nails will probably abandon you.

I wasn’t ready for this one.  I got blisters under my nails and it damaged the nail bed.  And there went a few toe nails.  Yep, it’s gross, but at least it doesn’t hurt.

The best advice I have for you is to find shoes that don’t rub and are held securely to your foot.  I like this post to help identify different ties for your shoes based on your shoe woe.  Socks also make a big difference.  I like good ol’ Hanes socks.

2. Take the solar blanket.

I didn’t do this after my first run in Pittsburgh because I didn’t have this option in Williamsport so I didn’t know how necessary it was.  It felt like I was almost in shock after the run.  This really helped the next time to gently regulate my temperature.

3. You will probably shit yourself.

It ain’t fun to talk about, but let’s get real here.  I don’t know why or how to prevent this (although I did take some Immodium before the run last year, which made a difference).

I didn’t even know this happened until my mom asked me in hushed tones, “So…did you…crap your pants?”

I didn’t, but I realllllllly had to go soon after stopping.  So just be prepared for that.

4. Eat the gummy worms.

Another point from the Pittsburgh half that I didn’t know the first time.  Around mile 8, they hand out gummy worms.  Take the gummy worms (or power bars or gel or whatever).  It really helps to give you a boost.

5. Have someone waiting for you at the finish.

It’s nice to have people cheering along the course, but it’s really nice to have someone you know waiting for you.  Or running right beside you like Jonathan and I did last year.

Either way, it really helps motivate you when you have someone waiting for you at the end to congratulate you and be amazed that you ran that far.

Bonus!

Bring another change of clothes.  I needed to get out of the cold, sweaty clothes I was in.  Bring a change of pants, shirt, and socks.  It feels so great to get out of your running shoes, trust me.

A woman I worked with told me this one: drink water the first half, then switch to Gatorade.  Your body really doesn’t need a boost of electrolytes after 3 miles, but it sure could use some water.

Another woman I worked with shared this with me: hills are easy for short people to climb.  Our little legs don’t have to lift up as high to clear the road as you tall people.  It makes me feel good going uphill, even if it’s a placebo effect.

Have you run a marathon (or a half or even a 5k)?  What are you best tips?

Two word advice

Earlier this week, Emily Levenson posted in the Propelle Rock It Facebook group asking, “If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only two words?”  I must have typed out and deleted them so many times because I had such a hard time finding the right two words.

What advice would you give to your younger self in two words?

Don’t stop and be yourself seemed too generic; it wasn’t specific to me.  Try harder makes it sound like I wasn’t trying my best.  Don’t be complacent and everything will be okay are more than two words.

When someone asks the advice you’d give your younger self, I always picture myself as a little kid because those are my “formative years” and there are things I wish I would have known.

I still insist that, as a kid, no one could tell me anything I’d listen to.  I thought I knew pretty much everything and no one could tell me otherwise; all the advice was well-meaning but they didn’t know what I was going through!

No, I won’t get over this crush.  Yes, it is the end of the world and the biggest thing that ever happened to me.

I know when you’re going through something, it seems like the end of the world and it just consumes you and then you can look back and be like, here’s what should have happened.

I think I would have listened to myself, though, because I could say to myself, “Hey, you, listen to you.  Here’s what’s up,” and I’d have to take that advice because I’ve been there and now I’m here on the other side.

Also, it’s specific to me  Advice never felt specific enough when I was a kid.  I wanted someone to tell me, “This is what you need to do,” instead of guiding me with well-meaning cliches.

When I think about how I was as a kid, I was quiet, pretty timid, and unless I was in my comfort zone, I didn’t venture out too much.  So that was what I thought I’d take into consideration when giving advice to tell my younger self.

Get outside.

Get outside. Savor the moment and be present to what is happening around you.

Get outside of everything.  Your comfort zone, the house, the books you read, the music you listen to, the friends you play with, the people you talk to.

Trying something new is scary and you may disappoint your parents’ expectations or get into a hairy situation with your friends, but it’s better than not doing what you want because you’re afraid of the outcome.

Try getting out of your own way, trusting your instincts, finding something new to occupy your time instead of the same old stuff.

Even in college: get outside.  Sure, study hard, but have fun.  Don’t try to pack all the fun of four years into a few weekends when you’re finally free.  Savor the moment and be present to what is happening around you.

And don’t be afraid to get a little messy.  That’s definitely good advice, but much more than two words.

What advice would you give to your younger self?  When you picture your “younger self,” where are you in your life?

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