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Gardening in High Heels

cultivate a beautiful life

April 29, 2015

An open invitation to let it go

April 29, 2015

This has been sitting in my drafts folder and I felt like pulling it out for some reason.  I started it about a year and a half ago.  I was feeling entirely stuck, uninspired, and unappreciated at work.  I was doing everything I could to get myself out of that hell, but I just couldn’t.

I largely blamed my current employer.  Who wants to hire me as a content manager when the company I work for can’t spell correctly?!

That said, I knew it couldn’t be all them.  It’s hard to break into the ad scene in Pittsburgh.  If I tried a little harder, maybe something better would have happened faster (I’m starting to feel like a Daft Punk track).

I’m happy to say I’m no longer with this company I’m writing about today.

So this one goes out to all of the people who have wanted to write something to their boss, a coworker, a friend, a family member and just couldn’t.  This took me two years to say.  Get out there, write something down, and let it go.

If you're looking for permission to get things off your chest and let it go, here it is! Write it down, set it free.

I have had the opportunity to work with some amazing women this year (and year’s past).   This is in no way a snub to them.  I am eternally grateful that they see someone worthwhile in me and for learning from them.  Just recently, I accepted the opportunity to intern for Yelp in Pittsburgh and it got me thinking.  I send out tons of job applications each week, but get very few chances to actually speak with the company.  Once I get to speak it someone, it’s a lot easier to explain I’m the victim of circumstance, but it’s hard to write in a cover letter, “Please don’t hold my current employer against me.”  That’s what I feel like I’m going to have to start doing.  So here is my open letter to my future employer:

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and do what is asked of me.  In doing what is asked of me, I’m running into trouble.  I know, I majored in English and there are typos aplenty all over my current employer’s menu.  That doesn’t look good on me applying for a content creator job.  I’ve asked thousands of times to take a look at the menus before they’re printed..to no avail.

Just the other day, in fact, I said that I’d be happy to take a look and make sure the spelling was good and the alignment was right.  I was laughed at.  Literally.  I was told the menus were already printed and he wouldn’t take any of my suggestions anyway.

“I don’t care about all of that grammar stuff,” he said.  When your boss tells you they don’t care enough about how they are perceived to make sure there are no errors in a menu that tons of people see every day, what does that say?  What does that say to the customer?  What does that say ABOUT the customer?  What does that say about the COMPANY?

(And don’t get me started on the commas and the apostrophes.  I’ve tried to eradicate them when possible but if you see “pint’s” somewhere, I didn’t do that.  I’m not saying the “pint is” or the pints are possessive.  They just don’t know that to pluralize something, one simply adds an “s.”)

Same with clip art.  I tried to do something different and creative when I first got to my current position, but all of my attempts at doing something different were waved off.  I’m lucky I can just get away with some coordinating colors and matching (not cartoon-y) fonts.  (Also, I’m sorry for the Comic Sans.  That is actually trademarked.  I cannot do a thing about it).

I have a minimal aesthetic.  I like clean lines, bright color choices, and bold fonts.  These guys were shown clip art and went to town.  They like lengthy descriptions when simply a list of ingredients will do, lots of pictures, and background patterns; that just isn’t me.  At least we don’t make people wear pieces of flair and have used trombones and license plates hanging on the walls.

Then let’s move on to damage control.  Our “policies” are hard to stand behind.  Defending the servers who are consistently rude, slow, incompetent, and petulant isn’t easy to get with either.  The kitchen and the food I have absolutely nothing to do with but I’m getting tired of responding to Yelp reviews with, “I’ll review with the cook how to properly prepare that dish.”

Just because my current employer feels as if something is satisfactory doesn’t mean I do.  Their version of “complete” doesn’t reflect my version of complete.  The standards that they set forth for their company aren’t as high as the standards that I set for myself.  This is an effort to correct some of those misconceptions.  My abilities aren’t theirs, their company isn’t a reflection of what I’m capable of.  I’d do more, but I’m not able to.  I’d like to do more and keep my career positive and constantly learning.  I’ve plateaued here.  The only thing I’ve learned recently is that this job is hurting me and isn’t helping me to move onward and upward.

What’s something you’ve wanted to say but couldn’t?  Let me know in the comments and get it off your chest!

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2 Comments · Labels: Motivation Tagged: career, inspiration, motivation, rant, work

March 6, 2015

Creative soup for the soul

March 6, 2015

I’m a fan of coloring.  When I was younger, one of my favorite things was my big-ass box of Crayons.  I still have it to this day.  My neighbor and I would start with a blank page and she would make a line, then I would make a line, then she’d add to what I did, and we’d go back and forth collaborating on this picture.

Then in high school, my best friend and I would totally color, too.  Yep, 17 years old and I broke out the ol’ coloring books.  I’m not ashamed.

Coloring has serious stress-relieving properties.

I love actually making something with my hands – making a #30Lists book* (btw, there’s totally still time to get in on the action this month!), putting together a photo album, coloring, even reorganizing a bathroom feels good to me.

The other day, I saw an article about coloring being good for the soul.  It stimulates parts of the brain related to motor skills, senses, and creativity.

And it has serious de-stressing power.  I don’t know about you, but I find it incredibly relaxing.  The other night after a long day of work and finding out some news that immediately turned me into a ball of stress, I colored.  I found an old geometric coloring book that I think I stole from my mom and sat down with my big ass box of crayons and colored.

Coloring is good for the soul and it relieves so much stress.I was so relaxed, I fell asleep right where I was.

I am realizing the importance of taking time to do things that feel good and are good for me.  I think it’s our natural tendency to say, “Other people are asking me for my time and I feel obligated to give it,” and it’s hard to say no and take care of yourself, but if I don’t take care of myself, I’m not doing anyone else any favors.

Coloring is good for the soul and it relieves so much stress.

As Britt Reints acknowledges, creative spirits need a little nurturing.  And she’s doing just that in her Creative Soul Connection Weeknight Retreat on March 26th.

The whole night is centered around nurturing our creative spirits – talking about how to overcome obstacles that get in the way of creating and the benefits of creating things on a regular basis (aside from having new Pinterest-inspired artwork).

I cannot tell you how much I’m looking forward to playing with other creatives.  I’m a huge believer that you need to change your surroundings if you’re feeling stuck and actually going somewhere and being given permission to get hands-on and messy..oh hello, I’mma be all over this.

A little recap of what the night will include:

– Emphasis on importance of Being Ernest making stuff regularly
-Hands-on art project with Little House Big Art
-Creative panel discussion – so far it includes a musician, seamstress, writer, graphic designer/art camp director
-Sponsored by Little House Big Art, Pittsburgh Glass Center, and I Made It! Market
-Heated mosaic tile floors at the Irma Freeman Center for Imagination

Coloring is good for the soul and it relieves so much stress.

A while back, I sat down and had coffee with Britt and another writer who felt stuck like myself.  She told us about artist dates that she’s trying to do regularly with herself.  She gets out of her house and does something that feels good to her: go to a museum, paint by the river, etc.  So even if you aren’t in Pittsburgh and can’t come to the CSCWR, do something for a few hours that night that feed your creative soul.

Did I convince you to come?  I sure hope so!  You can grab tickets for the Creative Soul Connection for $25 and I’m thinking it’s probably going to be the best $25 you spend all week.

[disclaim]Britt asked me to spread the creative love and in exchange offered me a free ticket to this event.  You can bet your bottom dollar I already was going to buy a ticket and go anyway![/disclaim]

[disclaim]*The 30 Days of Lists link is an affiliate link.[/disclaim]

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7 Comments · Labels: Motivation, Pittsburgh Tagged: britt reints, coloring, creativity, events, pittsburgh, stress relief

March 4, 2015

Two word advice

March 4, 2015

Earlier this week, Emily Levenson posted in the Propelle Rock It Facebook group asking, “If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only two words?”  I must have typed out and deleted them so many times because I had such a hard time finding the right two words.

What advice would you give to your younger self in two words?

Don’t stop and be yourself seemed too generic; it wasn’t specific to me.  Try harder makes it sound like I wasn’t trying my best.  Don’t be complacent and everything will be okay are more than two words.

When someone asks the advice you’d give your younger self, I always picture myself as a little kid because those are my “formative years” and there are things I wish I would have known.

I still insist that, as a kid, no one could tell me anything I’d listen to.  I thought I knew pretty much everything and no one could tell me otherwise; all the advice was well-meaning but they didn’t know what I was going through!

No, I won’t get over this crush.  Yes, it is the end of the world and the biggest thing that ever happened to me.

I know when you’re going through something, it seems like the end of the world and it just consumes you and then you can look back and be like, here’s what should have happened.

I think I would have listened to myself, though, because I could say to myself, “Hey, you, listen to you.  Here’s what’s up,” and I’d have to take that advice because I’ve been there and now I’m here on the other side.

Also, it’s specific to me  Advice never felt specific enough when I was a kid.  I wanted someone to tell me, “This is what you need to do,” instead of guiding me with well-meaning cliches.

When I think about how I was as a kid, I was quiet, pretty timid, and unless I was in my comfort zone, I didn’t venture out too much.  So that was what I thought I’d take into consideration when giving advice to tell my younger self.

Get outside.

Get outside. Savor the moment and be present to what is happening around you.

Get outside of everything.  Your comfort zone, the house, the books you read, the music you listen to, the friends you play with, the people you talk to.

Trying something new is scary and you may disappoint your parents’ expectations or get into a hairy situation with your friends, but it’s better than not doing what you want because you’re afraid of the outcome.

Try getting out of your own way, trusting your instincts, finding something new to occupy your time instead of the same old stuff.

Even in college: get outside.  Sure, study hard, but have fun.  Don’t try to pack all the fun of four years into a few weekends when you’re finally free.  Savor the moment and be present to what is happening around you.

And don’t be afraid to get a little messy.  That’s definitely good advice, but much more than two words.

What advice would you give to your younger self?  When you picture your “younger self,” where are you in your life?

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4 Comments · Labels: Motivation Tagged: advice, be brave, get outside, motivation, reflection

February 11, 2015

I am woman, hear me say no

February 11, 2015

I have a disease.  It’s called being a woman.  Now don’t get your tomatoes out just yet!  Hear me out.

I understand I’m painting in broad strokes, but it seems like many women have a hard time saying no.  There are shelves of books dedicated to telling us “We are enough,” and, “It’s okay to say no.”  There are blogs and articles and coaches telling us that it’s okay and actually good for us to limit ourselves.

Saying yes to things you don’t want to do robs you of the money, time, and energy that you would be using to do something worthwhile and meaningful to you, something you actually want to do that would make you feel better, more accomplished, or happier.

I don’t know about you, but I feel obligated to jump on every response, every email, every time someone calls on me the second they call on me.  It results in me being tired, burned out, resentful, and already feeling like I’m breaking my resolution of focus and connect just one month in to 2015.

Pair that obligation with having such a hard time accepting help.  I’m always so surprised when people want to help.  I don’t know if I have a chip on my shoulder about being “the responsible one” or “the one who does her job,” but it’s very difficult for me to let someone take control.

I think I see it as a sign of weakness.  We’re all so concerned about doing as much as possible that relinquishing control, in my mind, is admitting defeat.

Saying that I can’t do it all is saying I’m failing at doing something.  And I don’t fail.

I feel like that is amplified by being a woman.  I work all day, take care of the house, have a side hustle, blog, and am also supposed to have time to work out, eat, sleep, catch up on Scorpion… Impossible!

Because I am not an expert at saying no (it’s something I recognize a need for), I think I could use a little practice.

I’m issuing myself, and you, a challenge.  Say “no” to something today.  How!?  Well, take inspiration from this Levo article.

I love this line:

Saying yes to things you don’t want to do robs you of the money, time, and energy that you would be using to do something worthwhile and meaningful to you, something you actually want to do that would make you feel better, more accomplished, or happier.

So.  Spot.  On.

A few things that I would add:

Will saying yes help you work towards your goals or hurt you?

Really think through this.  Are you doing this because you think it might get you ahead or will it really help to further your goal/blog/career.  Are you doing this because you feel like it’ll make you look good or do you really want to do this?

Do you believe in what you are doing?

Like Michele mentioned in her Levo article, if you heart isn’t in it, don’t do it.  People can tell you’re faking and I’d venture to say you probably won’t enjoy it.

In the case of a product recommendation, if you don’t genuinely believe it, why are you talking about it?  Would you trust someone who wasn’t genuine?  Then why should your readers trust you if you’re not being honest.

And then focus on how you feel

Do you feel good saying no? I’m sure it’s scary, but do you feel freedom to explore other areas or are you just feeling guilty for turning down something?

I may not know a lot, but I do know that your gut will know what the right decision is.

Right, back to the challenge.  Do it today, then try it tomorrow, the next day.  Even if it’s just small things like, “No, I won’t make an extra trip to Target this week, I’ll pick up your (insert thing here) when I go back next week.”

Are you going to join me on my journey to say no?  No excuses, now!

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14 Comments · Labels: Motivation Tagged: motivation, positivity, resolutions, say no

February 4, 2015

A few words about love

February 4, 2015

I’m not an expert about love and relationships, but I’ve crashed and burned enough to know what works for me.  And what I know is that love means you want to be with someone more than you need to be with them.

Does that make sense?

Love means you want to be with someone more than you need to be with someone

Jonathan and I were talking about this the other day and I don’t think I explained it properly to him (sorry, dear).  So I thought I’d elaborate.

Yes, I would be absolutely devastated and fall into a pile of mush if something happened to us.  It would take a long time to get back up and go on with my life, but eventually it would have to happen.

I know this because I’ve been there before.  The reason why I was there before is because I wanted to be in a relationship more than I wanted to be with the person.  I needed to have that comfort of knowing I was in a pair because I wasn’t okay with being just me.

And then (obviously) that ended and I was alone again.  And it was like, who am I?  What do I do with myself?  What do I like doing with my free time?  I don’t know how to be just me.

I know, it’s scary to just sit in a room alone with your thoughts, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

So it took a while, but I learned how to be alone and I kind of liked it.  Then I started to go on dates because I wanted to date, not because I had to find my next relationship fix.

Guess what?  I learned what I liked and didn’t like and was okay passing on someone who didn’t fully work for me because I wasn’t focused on “must be a pair” anymore.  I could focus on, “Does this person complement me?”

In my relationship now, I want to be with him more than I need to have someone there with me all the time.  I found someone who complemented me for me.

Want and need are two totally different verbs.  Want is a choice.  It’s something that you decide to do/have/be.  I choose to be with this person.  Need is more situational.  I need water to live.

You don’t need a relationship to live.  That isn’t one of Maslow’s Basic Needs.  It’s actually more towards the middle of the pyramid.  Call me cold, but it’s true.  If I didn’t have Jonathan, I would be upset but I would live.  Physiologically, I could survive.

But I want to be with him more than I need to be with him.  And that’s how I know it’s love.

What does love mean to you?

 

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2 Comments · Labels: Motivation Tagged: dating "advice", love, relationships, valentine's day

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Who’s Angelica?

Life Un-styled Blogger, Gardener, Shoe Lover..among other things

I'm here to encourage and empower you to grow where you're planted and embrace the weeds that sometimes pop up. I'll share inspiration, products I like (and you may too), and stories from the garden.

Gardening In High Heels is for badass babes who aren’t afraid to get a little messy. Want to learn more? Start here.
           

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